What the scale says...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

What I'm most thankful for...

As thanksgiving approaches I start to think what I am most thankful for this year and ofcourse I am thankful for all the blessings that I am given everyday, my family, my wonderful husband, great friends, a home and a great career but this year I am more intune with something that before I didnt realize I was missing, which is ME !
For so long I hid all the potential that I truly have because my weight was a great big shell. For so long I was sooo bored with who I was because I wouldnt allow myself to enjoy the beauty of life and  because I felt so ashamed of myself I had lost all hope that there would ever be a different outcome. But this year I feel like I have received this incredible gift of myself, of feeling alive and full of energy, of wanting to get outthere and expereince the true beauty of everyday, I just feel like I want to skip along like a 5 year old all day. It is truly such a blessing to feel like I rediscovered something that was loss for sooooo long !!!

Here's to 55 and counting ....

Monday, November 23, 2009

FFC Holiday Challange Week # 4

Yes Ladies I know we're facing a tough week coming up but we've done so well we need to keep it going !!! Dont those down slopping lines look so beautiful ??!!!

Nicole is back in the lead...you go girl !!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

My weight loss TOP 10 !!

A while back on LBT we had created a post about what our top 10 milestone, acheivement, reward goals were for our weight loss. The list was compiled when we were all pre-op and seemes like very lofty goals at the time but as I go through this journey I find that I am most happily meeting some of those already and wanted to revamp my top 10, as well as note the ones that I've accomplished already !

Since food was always such a BIG part of every aspect of my life and since I used it as a solace and a reward mechanism I wanted to set rewards that were completely non-food based !! and I actually found this great article which I'm aincluding at the bottom of the post that has some great ideas...

My Top 10 list....

10. Being able to do 30 minutes on the elliptical without dying ( TOTALLY DONE)
9.  Being able to bend over and tie my sneakers without feeling like I'm having a heart attach ( TOTALLY DONE)
8. Being able to wear a belt with my jeans, without having to add extra holes for it to fit ( TOTALLY DONE )
7. Being able to say GOOD BYE to the plus size store for EVER !! ( GOOD BYE AVENUE !!)
6. Being able to sit in my airplane seat only without spilling over or being uncomfortably tight ( Will see next month!)
5. Being able to wear knee high boots and a cute skirt
4. Able to give myself a pedicure
3. Walking into Vickie's and confidently buying the cutest lingerie there in a normal size
2. Making hubby drool in such afprementioned purchase
1. Taking sexy professional budoire (sp?) pictures for hubby in said purchase and having effect mentioned in # 2

I still have a couple of these to accomplish but I feel DAMN good that I've conquered some of these already !! Rewards are a big part of any project and I think that I am my most important project so... much to the hubby's discontent,I hope to have something else in the mail on it's way to me soon !! LOL !! Maybe I just need to find somewhere else to ship it too...LMAO !!


10 Ways to Reward Weight Loss Efforts Without Food

By Carmen Staicer - DietsInReview.com

If you are in the habit of rewarding yourself with food for a job well done, what do you do when those treats no longer fit your diet plans? When you are trying to lose weight, it goes against all you are working toward to celebrate that five pound weight loss with a big slab of cheesecake (unless you're prepared to hit the gym to burn those 500 calories!).

As you work toward your weight loss goals, staying motivated can become very difficult. Often rewarding yourself is just the motivation you need. So here are 10 non-food rewards to celebrate your hard work.

• Purchase a new exercise DVD

• Try a new fitness class - if you are walking, try a spin or martial arts class. You have to think beyond your comfort zone!

• A new outfit to set off your slimmer figure

• New music for your MP3 player

• Reward your hard working muscles with a massage

• Get a mini makeover with a new hair color or new makeup

• Start a savings account and set aside a small amount of money for each pound lost - between $1 and $5. When you reach your goal, donate that money to your local food bank.

• Do something you never had the courage to do when you were heavy. Maybe hang gliding, sky diving, or para sailing?

• Get a new tattoo or piercing

• Schedule meet-ups with friends in a non-food atmosphere. Why not catch up while hiking or get pedicures?

How do reward yourself for all of your hard work?

Friday, November 20, 2009

My holiday plan and a great NSV

So realizing that thanksgiving is next week and then Christmas followed by new years I thought it would be a good idea to layout a plan of attack for the next following weeks. As suspected my weight in this week will be back to a normal 2 pounds since last week was a combo of fill week and PMS week so I get huge numbers with those two but to make sure that I stay on track with all the partying coming my way my goals for the next wouple of weeks are:
  •  210 by Dec 1st. This would mean that I need to loose 4.6 lbs in 11 days ! Better amp up my water intake.
  • 203-205 by Dec 18th this would mean 5-7 lbs in 18 days. This is the first time that my sis and mom ( who doesnt know about the surgery) have seen me since last time when I was 269. They havent see me at this weight since 2004 and I would really love to see their jaw drop when they pick me up at the airport.
  • 199.9 by Jan 1st this would mean 4-6 lbs in 14 days . It would be the most AMAZING thing ever if I were able to make it to onderland by Jan 1st, I think I would just flip out !!!
I know some of there goals seem a little too ambitious but I feel that this might help keep me in line around all the egg nog and the stuffing etc etc !! And I already have plans for the reward....okay I went to Marshall's today and completely fell in love with a new bag ( I'm a BIG bag girl!) and figuered I could totally get the hubby to agree in allowing me to buy a bag worth $1 for every pound I've lost and if I stick to my goals I can totally get this gorgeous Guess bag that I fell in love with since I'll be down 70 lbs and $70 bucks gets you ALOT of bag at Marshalls...good plan huh ??? BTW I have to post pics of my 50lbs bag !! Love that one too !!

Anywhoo onto my NSV that I was just tickled pink about ! I went to the NY Philharmonic on tuesday and was just floored that I could fit sooooo comfortably into my seat !! OMG !! I remeber going to see the Phantom of the Opera back in Dec of last year and feeling so tight and uncomfortable in my seat !! But not this time around I was even able to cross my legs without having to do a yoga move to get it there !! I was so proud of myself YAY ME !!! I cant wait to get on that plane for christmas and see how much of a diference it will be from June when we went to Alaska and I barely fit into my seat and almost needed a seat belt extender..OMG !!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Plan...

So someone asked me in an email to write a quick post about what I have learned works and doesnt work for me at this point on my journey to losersville.
I decided at the start of my pre-op that if I was gonna undergo such a drastic measure to get healthy then I was gonna do it the right way ! For me all my previous attempts had failed because of my lack of being able to comprehend that the key to being successful in losing weight was that I had to come to terms mentally with what I was-what I need to do and most importantnly what I needed to stop making excuses for !

I finally realized that my main problem was that I had no will power when it came to food temptations and most importatnly that I had no self control. I needed to learn these things so my first action once I started pre-op was to get rid of all those things that I thought would pose a problem...this unfortunately included some of my hubby's favorites but I quickly reminded him that our vows included making sacrifices for eachother. So out went the soda, bye-bye went all the chips and cookies and the kool aid. No more hershey's kisses or PB cups !! It is completely true what they say that out of sight out of mind !!!

Then it was time to face the music and I finally took in, in all of it's unglory the truth of what my body had become with a hard look in the mirror ala naturale !!! I had avoided really looking at the problem for so long knowing that it was easier to just deny the problem..again out of sight out of mind !! I was gonna do this and I was gonna do it right !!

My doctor has a very strict policy on what was allowed or not so I chose to follow her instructions to the tee ! That meant the 10 days of liquids, the 10 days of true mushies and finally then the solids and that's when the real work begins because the safety of the strict guidelines was kinda of really gone ! So what have I chosen to do for myself as I jog my way to the emerald city well....

  1. I monitor my calories very closely and really watch what I eat. No I'm not on a diet, but I am VERY conscience of what goes into my mouth !! If I want a piece of godiva choclate I will have 1 piece, enjoy and savor and moan my way through that piece but that's it !! I restrict myself to less than 1200 calories of day.
  2. Of my 1200 calories, I keep my 3 main meals at 300 calories and allow myself 300 calories for snacks. Protein ALWAYS comes first before the carbs or the snacks and I always eat in a measured (1 cup) kids plate that I bought at walmart. I make sure to get in my 3 servings of dairy a day ( great source of protein) including 2 glasses of Skim PLus milk and a FAGE greek yogurt in every day. My snacks will be a string cheese stick or 2 tbsp of hummus with some pretzel crisps or some apple slices with some lo-fat peanut butter.
  3. I try to NEVER finish everything on my plate. Even if I can eat it all I try to always leave a lil bit. The reason I do this is to teach my mind that I dont need to clean my plate. growing up we were always so guilted into eating everything on the plate even if we we're no longer hungry...you know the whole starving children in africa bit !!
  4. I go to the gym 4 times a week no matter what. Rain, cold wind, tired, shopping excuses just dont work! Because the only person who pays in the end is me !! I do a 45 minute step class 2x wk, a kick boxing class on fridays and on tuesday's I do the elliptical at a 9 incline/8 resistance and at 170 + steps per minute. I've also started to do my C25K training on sat mornings.
  5.  Most importantly I stay true to myself and surround myself with great support ( like you guys who are the reason why I'm at this point in my journey). I've set goals that are acheivable and ways to reinforce my thinking on what my goals are. I have clothing reminders of what I where I want to be and do reward myself when I acheive my goals. It is also very important for me to feel better about myself and reward my progress, so I put more effort into  my apperance. I wear make up now, accessories with belts and wear clothes that hsow my curves and the progress that I've made and DAMN DO I FEEL GOOD !!!
 So much for a quick post..... all I know is.....HAWAII here i come !!!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Week # 3 on FFC's Holiday Biggest Loser's Challange

Hola my fellow loserinos !! here's the update on week 3 of my Holiday Biggest Loser's Challange and it seems that this week I'm holding the losing stick..YAY !!! If the scale went the wrong way this week...no worries just give it your biggest battle scream and show it whose boss next sunday !!! ROOOAARRR !!!

What a great idea...

So I was crusing through Angie's blog and found this incredibly creative questionaire..she always has these cool little ideas and decided to steal it for myself so here it is

Saturday, November 14, 2009

3 month bandiversary thoughts & pics

Things got a lil busy this week but I finally got around to putting together my comparison slide. You know I realized that had it not been because I was making this comparison slide this picture of "full size" me would never have made it to see the light of day. I look at this picture and I say to myself.."my God how could I ever let it get to this point!??" I thought about this question for quite a while and figured that the denial that I was living in was the very thing that got me this far. Whne things got rough instead of facing them I just denied the severity of them and fed myself to feel better, when the stress got bad instead of acknowledging that I had to change the way I was doing things I just denied that a problem exsisted complained about the stress and fed myself to feel better, when the jeans got too tight instead of facing my problem I just denied that it exsisted and bought a bigger size... denial got me there...but today...

Today I am feeling GREAT !!! In the 3 months since the new me was born I have made the changes in my life that are changing my life every single day. I no longer prepare for the pain that I will feel in my knees when I step out of bed..I just hope out pain free !, I no longer have to worry about avoiding mirrors because I am so excited to see the changes that are happening everyday, I no longer have to fear  going out to dinner and having to deprive myself of my favorite things because I AM NO LONGER A SLAVE TO FOOD !!! I FINALLY HAVE CONTROL OVER WHAT I EAT, WHEN I EAT & WHY I EAT !!!!  My God it feels so good to be able to say that and mean it...I LOVE IT !!!! 

Yes it's been a hard road these 3 months and yes in 3 short months I have lost 53 lbs ( as of today) but I have worked for my loss every step of the way !! I am making the right decisions about food and making the gym a part of my routine and I had you asked me this 5 months ago " do you want to go workout ?" after looking at you crossed eyed & laughing ever so sarcastically I would have said as much as I want an enema !! but today the answer is a resounding YES ! That yes is gonna get me to the woman that I want to be and the woman that I deserve to be, not only for my family and my future but most improtantly for me !! and I deserve all of that !!!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

WOW that was a big fill !!!

Hola people! Wow it's been a very busy week so I've been neglecting my blog a bit. Final exams are coming up soon, so really focusing on those BUT there have been some happenings in Bandland!!

Let's see today is OFFICIALLY my 3 month bandiversary !! OMG ! I can't beleive that it's only been/ and has already been 3 months since I took this wonderful step in my life. I will post my comparison pics either later or tmrw ( have a paper to finish first, which I should be doing now !!). In these 3 months I feel like I've come so far from what I used to be not only physically but mostly mentally. I still astonish myself when I make certain decisions on what to eat and what to say no to, that I would have not even considered 4 months ago !! Halloween would have been a completely different night had I not had "lucy" to help me through !!

I did have my 4th fill on monday and that one was a very DIFFERENT expereince then all my other ones. I went in having 6 cc's in my band and considering that I hadn't had a good loss the previous 2 weeks from the 6cc fill and that I am STILL hungry every 2-3 hours and able to eat anything but untoasted bread, my nurse decided to be a lil adventurous and gave me a 1.7cc fill....well....I sat in the waiting room sipping on my water and was feeling that this was NOT gonna be good. After 10 minutes and only 2 sips it was pretty much obvious that that fill wasnt gonna work. When I went back in and laid back..oh boy !! Can we say ectoplasm release !!! Luckily it was only water !! He took out .25cc and left me with a fill of 1.45 and boy was that such an instant relief !!! So I know officially have 7.45cc in my band and I'm feeling that this might be getting close to where I should be. I know it's hard to tell until I hit solids for a couple of days but even 2 days out liquids are STILL gurgling through my band.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Holiday BIggest Loser Challange WEEK # 2

Let's keep it going ladies !! Remeber to send in your weekly weight next sunday to mrscutecuban@gmail.com

Friday, November 6, 2009

Just when I needed a good laugh today...

I got this email from a friend and it made me crack up !! So I thought I would share it and know that you guys will get it the same way !!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning

Uphill ... barefoot...BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue !!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled, dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it !

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!

When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister !

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics !

We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... forever ! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE !

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel ! NO REMOTES !!!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards !

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that !

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980’s!


The Over 30 Crowd

Thursday, November 5, 2009

My closet attacked me & threw out more size 20's to share

Hola People ! I did a lil shopping this week and since the closet is in cahoots with the hubby in keeping me from shopping it threw at me whatever size 20-24 were left in there. They both beleive that if I add something..another thing must go !!!  So my fellow sisters of the traveling pants, dresses, tops..etc etc let me know with a comment or via email (mrscutecuban@gmail.com)  if you'd like any of these. Just please remember that you must promise to pass it along when you're done !!!

Size 24 Avenue Flowery Dress ( I just wore this once this summer on a cruise, it's gorgeous!)

Size 18W/20W George Blue Paisley Dress ( This was my go to dress all the time !! I even wore it to my bridal shower)

Size 22 Avenue Black/White w pink ribbon dress ( I LOVE this dress !! I just wore it ONCE this june to a wedding...but no longer fits ( hooray!))

Size XXL Oldnavy Long Sleeve Layering Tshirt

Size 22 Sarah Jessice Parker Jeans (Left) , Size 20Avenue Jeans (Center), Size 18W Avenue Stretchy Jeans (Right)

Size 20W Faded Glory Jean Capris ( These were my go to capri's during the summer LOVED them!)

Size 20 Oldnavy Khaki Pants /Size 20 Sarah Jessica Parker Black Trousers ( These are BRAND NEW w/ TAGS)

Okay this might be a little taboo but thought I would offer them up if someone cna use them. I have 4 pairs of very gently worn and extremely clean and well laundered and cared for size 42DD bras from Lane Bryant Cacique brand. I know some people arent comfortable with undergarments but if you dont have an issue with it, I guarantee they are VERY clean and in EXCELLENT condition.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A mish mash of things & lothing on tonight's Biggest Loser !!!

Tonight's episode was okay I guess, didn't feel like anything spectacular but the one thing it really made me realize is how much a truly dislike Tracey !!! For as long as this season has been on, she has had an excuse for every single thing ! I just wish someone would turn to her and say " Shut up, quit your crap and work out or get out ! " I am posting this prior to the elimination and I can only be hopeful that she goes home !!!

 I am sooo happy that Shay finally broke that  400 lb barrier and I love her comment that "this was my hard work and mine to claim" that rang a bell with me because I have for so long avoided to take credit and accept compliments on my weight loss because I didnt know how to. I spent sooo many years try to hide my weight issues and pretend that they weren't there that I forgot how to be proud of myself and my accomplishments. I forgot how to look in the mirror and not fight back tears of disgust. I now happily appreciate and accept all the compliments that just keep coming...although I blush at every single one but most importantly when I look in the mirror now a days it's not tears of disgust but tears of being happy and proud that I have conquered the deamon that kept pushing me down, that I am breaking through against the immense wall that kept me locked away from enjoying all the wonderful things that each day brings but most importantly knowing that I will never be a prisoners of those feelings of self lothing but that I can now enjoy being a beautiful and confident woman !!!!

I am attaching another of Katie Jay's article which I think is very appropriate given this weekends events....

Dear Small Bites readers,

I hope you survived Halloween without too much
stress. If you got off plan during the holiday,
remember that beating yourself up about it will
not help you to get back on plan.

When I'm off plan, I talk nicely to myself.
I say, "It's okay, Katie, you can start over
right now. Notice how quickly you are taking
responsibility! You can do this."

And then I just keep starting over until it
sticks. No judgment. This is a life-long

Monday, November 2, 2009

Let the game begin....

Alrighty ladies..the official challange is on ! Remeber to weigh in on sundays and send me your weight to post and lets watch the graph just hit the floor !!!

If you still would like to join our friendly battle of the holiday bulge then just email me your weight as of sunday and a picture of you on the scale with the weight visible and come join us as we lose this holiday season.