What the scale says...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

One more week on the love me challenge !!

Here you go ladies another great week with some amazing numbers !! We got one more week to go on the challenge so lets give it what we got to get to that amazing 200 lbs loss !!!

I'm also calling out for a new challenge keeper !! I love what these challenges do not only for motivation and to help keep us accountable but I think they're a great way to share our successes !! I would love to keep these going but lately I am in a total time crunch between school and work! So I would really appreciate if some were willing to take torch and keep these going for our community. I'll gladly pass on the spreadsheet ! Just please leave me a comment or email me mrscutecuban@gmail.com

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Won Ton treaty

Some of you might remember my post last month about the The Chinese Food Incident and how I lost total control over my portions resulting in a not so happy tummy ache. It was simply a result of eating with my eyes over my brain !! I think this is still one of the hardest things that I have to face almost on a daily basis when contemplating my portions. It was much easier to deal with this issue pre-band because I just ate and ate and then when I thought I was done but had just 2 spoonfuls of yummy goodness left on the plate I ate that too !!!
Fast forward to post band and this dilemma isn't as easily resolved and it is a constant mental struggle that I need to reteach myself everyday !!! I guess it is part of making peace with the idea that food while its okay to enjoy is still just a means of sustenance. The old adage that we eat to live not live to eat rings as true as ever !!
If I examine many of the things that I had to reteach myself to do properly post-band this is my area of hardest work ahead. While it is true that I am not running rampant like a kid through a candy store I must still learn to take a breath and really ask myself if that extra tablespoon of rice is truly what I want ? This nowadays more important than ever considering my fill level. that extra spoon of rice while heaven in my mouth can translate into awful pains later that night.
So the point to this post is that what I am doing to mindfully watch my portions is simply going back to the basics and yes pulling out the measuring cups until I get this right. So my Won Ton Treaty simply is that I will allow myself to have my oh-so-delicious chinese food but will measure out a 1/2 cup of rice, and a dumpling and 2 shrimps to make up the other half. I will chew thoroughly and put down the chop sticks in between. But most importantly I will listen to my band and shut out the jealous fat girl that still lives in my brain !! ( I think I should name her...any ideas?)

On another note..I hit a major goal this week thanks to my latest fill and the extra day on liquids. I have officially reached 75 lbs lost !!! I have now lost over a 1/4 of the body weight that I started with at 27.6% gone. SO EXCITED !!!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Eating your feelings away...

Many of you already know that I am a big fan of katie jay's articles...this one especially !! Like many of you reading this post I struggled and still am struggling with understanding how to feel my feelings and how to deal with them instead of eating through them !!! This article is great in putting these issues into perspective. It helped me and I hope it helps you as well !!

later chicas !

Would You Rather Eat than Feel?
How to Make Friends with Your Feelings

By Katie Jay, MSW
Director, National Association for WLS

One of the common phrases we hear when it comes to
weight-loss-surgery stumbling blocks is "Emotional

Emotional eating involves using food to manage your
mood. Many of us have been known to eat to calm down,
diminish anxiety, soothe ourselves, and to relieve
many other non-hunger-related feelings.

Sometimes people can be very hard on themselves
about emotional eating. They use it as another bit
of evidence they are doomed to fail at weight loss.

When you don't allow yourself to feel uncomfortable
feelings, you can derail your pursuit to better
health. But remember that choosing not to feel your
feelings is a choice, not a handicap. You do not
have to be a victim of emotional eating.

Your emotions, and your desire to avoid them, do
not have to run your life. You can run your life.

In fact, you are the captain in charge of the ship
known as your life.

As the captain of your ship, you can choose to
learn how to identify uncomfortable feelings, how
to sit with them, how to analyze them, and how to
use the information you glean to get you where you
want to go in life.

One of the best tools you can use to achieve your
goals and dreams in life is to embrace your feelings
-- to allow yourself to *feel* them, study them, and
learn from them.

Sounds simple enough -- but a lot of us hate feeling
our feelings. Even the feelings that are positive
may scare us.

Some people use food to stay in a low-grade stupor,
safe from emotions on either extreme, and detached
from the world just a little bit.

It's safer that way, but I found my world of gray
to be a little depressing, do you?

I love this quote by John A. Shedd (Salt from My
Attic, 1928):

A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what
ships are built for.

When I am living in the gray area, numb, I am not
living the life I was designed to live.

Human beings have this amazing capacity for emotion,
it's truly a gift. But emotions are more than a gift,
they also are clues to our deepest needs -- clues we
are not always taught to examine and use to help us
better understand ourselves and our world.

We also have the gift of choice. As captain, we can
choose how we approach our emotional lives.

So how does one take command of her relationship
with her feelings?

Here are some things you can do to get started:

1. Line up a safe person you can talk to as you
begin to allow yourself to feel things. You may
need to vent or get reassurance. You may need help
identifying your feelings. You may be afraid of what
will come up. The process of learning to feel your
feelings can be easier if you know you have someone
safe to turn to when you need to talk. And if they
agree ahead of time to support you, you will not
feel so reluctant to call on them.

2. Build tolerance over time. You don't have to
suddenly force yourself to feel all of your feelings
right away. You can build up a tolerance by allowing
yourself short periods of time when you are consciously
tuning into your feelings and working on identifying
them and understanding what they are telling you.
Over time, it will get easier.

3. Be gentle with yourself. You may get frustrated
as you realize you will not be able to pinpoint
what each feeling is. Even though we understand
what feelings are, most of us haven't had a lot
of practice identifying which specific ones we're
feeling. Find a list of feelings online, print it
out, and use it to help you sort out what you are

4. Get curious. Once you are identifying your
feelings, you can look at them as clues to your
inner desires and needs. Every emotion you experience
is a clue you can follow. You can ask yourself, for
example, what is my anger telling me? Some people
like to write out their questions and answers in a
journal, so they can refer back to old entries and
make connections.

5. Stick with it. The decision to take charge of
how you respond to your feelings is a big one. The
task can feel daunting, but stick with it. While it's
a challenging journey, you will travel to amazing
places you never could have imagined.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

What a pain in the...band !!!

Looking back I really have to super thankful that I never really had any "issues" with my band...till tuesday night and that last fill !!

It was a freakishly small fill 0.1cc in fact .
Next to nothing in the history of the fills that have been happily plunged into you my band.
So why is it oh dear band that a 1/4 cup of pea soup upsetted you so ??
Why is it that you screamed at me with such ferosity as to have me double over in "holy moly" pain ??
Pain that made me reach for the phone in sincere worry that I had damaged you in some way?
Had you slipped? Were you stuck and couldnt get out? I thought I had done everything that you demand?

I'm glad my fears were relieved and that it was you being mad and screaming at me, so liquids for 4 days it will be !
I will do what you ask in hopes that our friendship remains and that a reward on the scale this week is not too much to ask ?!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Because of you

I got a very touching surprise yesterday when I checked up on Colls blog that I had been nominated for a beautiful blogger award !! That in itself was so incredibly touching and sweet but doubly so were her words about why she had nominated me. So THANK YOU my sweet Colleen !!!

So here I proudly display my badge :

The rules of the nomination are :

* Thank the person who nominated you for the award
* Copy the award and post in in your blog
* Link to the blog of the person who nominated you
* Tell seven interesting things about yourself
* Nominate seven bloggers
* Post links to the blogs of your nominees

Okay so here we go with my 7 things that you probably would never guess:

1- I practiced gymnastics from the age of 3 till 15 and broke my first bone ( my clavicle) on the balance bean at my first competition
2- I danced flamenco competitively for 15 years and was actually on local TV several times even on the spanish show Sabado Gigante when I was 11.
3- I gave my sister a mohawk when she was 3 years old
4_-i was a total band geek in junior and high school
5- I am a huge civil was buff and actually go to battle reenactments ( gettysburg here I come)
6- Online dating actually worked for me and thank it for my wonderful hubby ( love you baby!!)
7- i am completely obsessed with collecting Cabbage patch kids and currently have 17 of them and still counting !!!

Now that you are questioning why you still are reading my ramblings after those confessions here are my list of ladies that are just beyond spectacular !! I wish i could list more than 7 !!!

Jen - What can i say about Jen ?? This is an incredible Chick !! We were banded almost at the same time and have just not only really found an incredible person and friend in her but just a source of positive energy !! Like others have mentioned she is just such a breath of fresh air and always has the best outlook on things !!

Roo- Lady on the move ! I completely admire Roo for her bravery and determination. Not only is she doing this on her own in a foreign country but she doesnt let her slip ups slow her down. She kicks them in the ass and keeps on going

Angie- Her blog was one of the first veteran blogs that I came across when I started blogging and she was always such a source of inspiration to me in knowing that it was doable to have such great success !!

Sarah- I love that Sarah just puts all of her issues out there good and bad so that they can help others. She was really my inspiration in getting me into running and I would love reading about her 5k post and imagining that one day that could be me.

Nicole- I just took to Nicole so easily and love that someone understands my miami-isms !! Her nurturing and caring nature is not only a comfort and a strength but an infectious pick me up !! She is just doing so great and looking so fabulous. I hope to have her stick around in my life for a long time she is just so awesome !!

Elliana- Her post just crack me up and they're always SO entertaining and truly inspiring ! I love how she always blogs about other things going on but always has a great take home message in there somewhere !!

Gen- Gen...Gen..Gen..I just totally heart her !! This lady is a true go getter ! She is what I would love to be when I grow up and become a mommy. She just manages to do it all and look great in those tankini's !!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

6 month vlog update

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Truly loving yourself..

Another wonderful week ladies and on such an appropriate day !!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL YOU FOXY LADIES !!!! And even though this is the day to show our love to the special people in our lives, we must not forget to show love to the most important person which is ourselves !! Remember that you are a spectacular, beautiful and strong woman. You chose to take the ultimate challenge for a reason. That reason is because you deserve it, you deserve to be the beautiful, healthy radiant woman on the outside that is a mirror of the one that lives inside. So take this moment to thank yourself for who you are and admire yourself that much more for all the work you're doing this moment to be everything you are meant to be !!!

I must say that this valentines day I am truly having to learn how to love myself considering that my weight loss has just been total crap for the past month. I know that any loss is a good loss but I guess I'm just a creature of habits and I've gotten use to posting my 10lb loss !! So my 5lb loss in a month is a little disappointing to me ! Yes If I examine my habits over the past month there is room for improvement.
My exercise regiment hasn't been what it was and yes I have snacked a lil here and there but I guess it's just the stress from work and my classes this last semester. Maybe I just need to come to terms that this last semester is really going to demand some modification of other priorities. It's almost done and come May I know that I will be walking across that stage to get my masters in a slimmer and healthier me , regardless if it's at goal early or on my way there !

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Today was my first Bollywood dance class at Dhoonya Dance and I LOVE IT !!!! Not only was it super fun but let me tell you I got a hell of a workout so much so that my thighs are already killing me !!! and you sweat so much it minus well be Bikram Bhangara dancing for the buckets streaming down all of me !!! I'm attaching a link HERE to the music video of the song that we're doing. The choreography is added a little at a time over the 4 weeks, but we got ALOT done today and at first I thought " My God it's been over 15 years since I took a dance class..what am I doing here?" but it just flowed so easily !!

I REALLY had a great time in this class...so much so that I'm considering signing up for the 10 week course. If any NYC bandsters are interested I highly suggested you check out there site HERE.

On another note I took all your suggestions and am scheduled for a fill on tuesday. Let's see what the scale has to say tomorrow !!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

okay..I overate !!

Another bandster had posted on her issues about eating the right amount of food now that she has no fluid in her band and how she usually relies on her band to tell her when to stop ! Well for me that was always my method on top of just serving myself a small portion. Lately however I realized that my portions have gotten a lil bigger so even though I didnt want to get a fill because I always thought I was at my sweet spot I guess it's time for one !

Tonight I made tacos for dinner and I guess it was just a comp mechanism form before banding when I use to pound down 4 tacos at least, that this time I around I served myself 2 when I should have had only 1...well now I'm paying for it with a bit of a very uncomfortable tummy ache !! Lesson learned I need to go back to my routine and stop eating with my eyes !! OUCHIE !!!

Better call for a fill appt tommorow, last thing I need it to see a 2 on that scale again !!

BTW I am seriously backed up on my blog catch up..school is just REALLY keeping occupied this semester !! Thank God it's my last !!

Monday, February 8, 2010

week # 3 WOW !! & some other ramblings

Another super fabulous week ladies !! I mean it's almost 100 freaking pounds gone in just 3 weeks..that's seriously like 10 bowling balls or 4 costco size bags of rice or 20 bags of sugar..I keep going but all in all its a shit load of weight and Southern Girl is head loser this week...so CONGRATS lady on a job well done !

I met up with Colls for a quick bite to eat at Rickshaw Dumpling Bar, home of the best dumplings in the city !! And let me say that she is looking so great !! I know that she probably doesnt see it but it really shows in her face and her waist is really starting to define itself..good job girly !!!

I wanted to thank you guys for all your words of encouragement today they really meant alot !! I am truly priviledge to have all you wonderfully caring ladies around..it just feels like a great giant hug..THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH !!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A sad & emotional day ...

Last year on Feb 8th I got one of the calls that I dreaded for a long time. My heart sank as I heard my mom wailing, panicking and screaming in pain that my grandma had passed away that morning. She was 83 years old, a hell of a woman who lived, worked and raised 3 children on her own during the hardest times in Cuba. Her health had been declining during the last couple of years due to the complications from diabetes. SHe had loss most of her sight, her hearing was failing and so was her frame. While her passing maybe considered as the way we would all want to go as she passed in her sleep in a familiar bed, it was still unexpected and a very emotionally heartbreaking experience for my mom. Till this day she feels like she didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye to her since my mom lives here in the states.
For me this was not only emotionally hard to lose my grandmother but doubly as hard to see my mom in soooo much pain. But the hardest emotion I've had to deal with and am still dealing with is the feeling that I'm slowly losing my roots and my connection to my family's identity. I feel like who I am is being extinguished. I feel like the pictures and the voices of my history are being erased and silenced and am powerless to do anything about it. I guess this is why it's so hard for me to truly allow myself to grieve. At first it was because I wanted to be the strong one for my mom and then it just became that I didn't want to grieve because it would be like admitting that all these things that I was fearing are true.
Even though there are tears in my eyes and in my heart I want to remember Gloria Paneque as the incredible and strong woman that she was. I know that she is with me and that she hears my ramblings to her. I know that she is proud of the strength that she has bred into us and that she is proud of what I am accomplishing and I know that through the thick and thin she will always be with me to guide me through the tough stuff and smile with me in the good times..but most importantly I know that I am loved from inside and from above !! Te quiero Abuela y te extrano mucho !!!

Some great advice from Katie Jay

I've posted some articles previously from Katie Jay- a WLS success who has not only loss over 180 lbs but has kept it off for more than 5 years. In this latest article she made some incredible points that really rang home for me so I wanted to share it with y'all.

BTW- I know Im late with the challange posting...its been a HELL of a week!! I'll post the combined results tommorow..promise !!!
So remember to send me your weights for tommorow!

HAPPY LOSING people !!

WLS Mastery: It's NOT What you Think!
(The Eleventh Stage of WLS Transformation)
by Katie Jay, MSW

I recently had an experience that may surprise you.

I was on travel, alone, and pressed for time. I
glanced at my watch...I had just under an hour to eat,
get changed, and be ready to speak to a bariatric
support group in an unfamiliar city. Yikes! I gripped
the wheel of my rental car and pulled into the only
restaurant I could find near my hotel: Burger King.

Ironic, isn't it? Yes, I know. Although I did not
succumb to the tantalizing, French-fry fare that had
been my typical trajectory for many years, I found
myself eating the better part of a Whopper Jr. with
cheese, extra pickles, no onions.

Although I am not thrilled with my choice, and have
since rationalized it every which way under the sun,
I share this experience with you because this is the
perfect example of the Mastery stage.

"What?" you ask. "This is an example of Mastery?
Mastery of what? Cheeseburgers?"

I could have really beaten myself up over my lunch
choice that day.

And, had my decision to eat that cheeseburger
happened during almost any other stage of WLS
transformation, I might have considered this a
"might-as-well-throw-in-the-towel moment" and,
well, thrown in the towel for the rest of my trip
-- and, perhaps, beyond.

During the Mastery stage, the 11th stage of
transformation, you learn that one not-so-great
choice is survivable. You learn to trust yourself.

You learn to fall down and get right back up.

Because I was in the Mastery stage, I knew that upon
eating said cheeseburger I would immediately pick
myself up, dust myself off, and get right back on
plan. And, that's exactly what I did.

Later that evening, when I went out to dinner with
a handful of professionals from the hospital, I could
have eaten the baked potato with my meal. But, I went
with the steamed veggies.

Sure, I wanted the potato, but I didn't let myself
linger on that thought. Instead I chose to move on
without a fuss (or self-pitying thought) and to focus
on the people.

That's what Mastery is.

You consistently work toward your goal of managing
your weight (and other areas of your life) and when
you go off plan, you come to trust that you can easily
get back on plan at the very next meal.

You don't become perfect, you become disciplined in a
way that makes you feel great about yourself and hopeful
for your future.

In my case, I knew the cheeseburger bun might trigger
some cravings for more carbs later, so I was prepared
for that possibility -- and I had a plan for how to deal
with that.

We are all going to fall from time to time, but in the
Mastery stage, we get right back up. One cheeseburger,
piece of cake, or bowl of spaghetti does not have to
signal the beginning of a long, drawn out, affair with
foods that aren't good for us.

You will know when you've entered Mastery. When your
natural trajectory -- 99% of the time -- is heading
for WLS success and not for the fast-food drive thru,
then you'll know you've made it.

And even when you do wind up in the fast-food drive
thru, you'll know you're in the Mastery stage when
one, isolated food choice doesn't become your excuse
for throwing in the towel.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Great new workout idea !!

Hola People...running to a meeting but wanted to let you know about a great new workout idea that is also REALLY fun. It's Bollywood dancing..sort of the same concept as zumba but just to bhangara music...think Slum Dog Millionaire. Anyways there is this one dance school offering a 4-week course for $30.It is normally $60 so a great deal. For those in NYC there are 3 locations in the city. Just visit this LINK to get the info on how to sign up. I've signed up for classes starting Feb 13th so I'll let you know how that goes...okay I'm almost late.


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A quickie & a laugh !!

Yep here at work but I just had to post this quickie cause it is just too good !! Jen and I met up for brunch on sunday, as she posted on her blog and I almost fell out out my chair in total laughter when I saw her reference to me as "tiny". It's just so funny to me to be thought of as anything but a "big" girl !!! I guess it's just one of those things that I will have to get use to (LOL!!!!!). Talking about shrinking you should check out Jen...now there's a girl who has a totally thin profile. I couldnt beleive it when I saw her but when she turned sideways it was like OMG!!! And YES Jen those prickly pear magaritas were AWESOME!! Will most certainly be going there again !!

I will post the challange results later tonight if I can get to them before the LOST final season premier starts (turning off all the ringers and lights from 8-10)..OMG I cant wait !! Although I must say that I dont know what I will do come the final episode..I cant imagine life post-LOST !! But I guess that's what they have the season DVD's for right ??

Got this email from a friend and it is just piss in ur pants funny so read below for a great laugh ....

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back....
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl*w j0b?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word....
he knew better.

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget..

While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow..
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did he have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!