My precious princess

I just wanted to post a recent picture of my heart & soul..my gorgeous 19 month old niece !!
I just love this picture because it shows how cute & sassy she's turning out to be !! And soon enough
I'll be able to run after her without collapsing like a fish out of water !!! See you soon cha-cha !!
I LOVE YOU MY LIL MONKEY !!!

I found my ankles !!!

So I made a recent discovery....that I have ANKLES !!! YAY !!! Gone are the puffy, swollen cankle like things that were standing in for my ankles for the past 2 years !!! In honor of my discovery I'll be wearing capri pants tommorow...time for them to feel the sunshine once again !!!!

BYE... BYE..... Size 20

I finally mustered up the courage to try on my size 18's that had been hanging in my closet

 for the better part of a year and half...you know for those times that I was delusional and

thought they would fit cause somehow I magically lost weight without trying (Yeah, right!).Well this morning I put the left leg in first and then the right and pulled

 them up and OH MY GOD,they actually zipped up without me having to suck the gut in

and once on I wasnt out of breath ...

YAY !!!! All of a sudden there is this whole other set of clothes that I can now wear !! WOO HOO !!!

Well I FINALLY got my pictures uploaded

The hubby and I went on an AMAZING vacation to Alaska in June and I was super excited because I was going to get a chance to taking pictures in one of the most beautiful places !! 2 months later and the pictures were still sitting in my computer, but alas..I have finally managed to upload them to flickr !! Here's a sample below and if you want to take a peak at my photo obsession then skip on over here.

So it finally happened.....

Yup, today I had my first episode of PBing !!! For those of you who dont know what PBing is? It's literally a productive burp or the bandster version of vomiting. Basically when you eat too fast or too much and your pouch is too full whatever is stuck in your esophogus comes right back up. So today during lunch as I was having my yummy tomato florentine cream soup from Cosi with some saltine crackers, I guess I ate it too fast and sure enough I was off to the bathroom....nay! So now it's back to liquids for the rest of today and tommorow to allow my stomach to rest..boo !!

Week 2 weigh in.....drum roll please........

WOO HOO, I'm down another 4 lbs from last week's weigh in !!! YAY !!!!

Week 1 weight: 250                
Week 2 weight: 246
--------------------------
weekly change: -4 lbs !!!
TOTAL LOSS : 23 lbs !!!!

OMG I havent weighed in the 240's for the last 1.5 -2 years !!! I know that this will probably slow down now especially since I've started mushies and will be going on to solids next week, but hey I think this is pretty good progress !!!

My target for next week would be -3 lbs to make it to my 10% loss goal...let's keep the fingers crossed  !!!!

WOW is this all I'm eating ???!!!!

If you would of asked me 3 weeks ago, if this would have been enough food I would have looked at you like you were out of your GD mind !! But alas here I am 2 weeks post op and I can't finish a cup of food !! Can you beleive that ???!!! I am by no means complaining, it just blows my mind that I am actually completely satisfied with less than a cup of food !! For dinner I pureed some Dominican style red kidney beans and rice with some mashed in avocado..it was very YUMMY !!  I guess the left overs are for lunch tommorow !! YAY !! I stil can't beleive this..WOW !!!!

Tune in tommorow for the weigh in report.....

Back to work and back to my normal self !!!

So today ends my first week back to work and the first day that I've really felt like my self again !! YAY (well at least for the feeling like myself again, I could've stayed at home a while longer IMHO!!!)
It was funny and intresting trying to tiptoe myway through all the questions on where had I been for a week ?? I chose to only tell VERY select few friends at work and have been using the "Oh I had surgery for a hernia" story...what? It isnt a lie, I did have a hatial hernia repaired..so !

I honestly feel really good and have been making some progress....
1) I'm down a total of 20lbs ( I havent lost this much weight in the last 3 years, OMG!!) 15 of those pounds from pre-op and the other 5 this past week.
2) I started mushies and no vomiting (YAY!!) I was really scared that I would since I was scared that I would be eating the wrong way and not slow enough...etc...etc
3) My clothes is already fitting sooo much better !! I had forgotten what it was like to put on a pair of jeans without having to suck in my gut to button them up !!! ( Double YAY!!)

Although I think I need to go back to tracking my calories and making sure I get in the protein and the liquids. It's just so hard to take down that protein...I have yet to find a protein mix that is tolerable..YUCK!! Any ideas people ??

So all in all I think it's been a pretty good week!!!

I've joined the band !!

So it is done !! Whew and oh-oh !! the day started off with a very long, long,long wait !!! I was schedued to get the prep started @ 9 am with surgery @ 11am...well 11:30 and I was still sitting in the waiting room...waiting !! Needless to say startving like hell since the last time I had "eaten" or drank anything was 9 pm the previous night !!

Well around noon I was finally called in and got the ball rolling.Changed into my flattering sexy surgical gown ( ha!) and got some last pre-op pics taken by the hubby. The OR nurse and anesthisiologist came to see me and ask me questions and to explain what was going to happen. I was starting to get VERY nervous and thought about making a run for it a couple of times !!! Dr. Ren finally came in and explained what she was gonna do and reassured me that my nervousness is totally normal and that I would be incredibly happy with my decision in a couple of days.

I put on my surgical socks and cap, kissed the hubby bye and walked into the OR with the nurse. I have to say at this point I really wanted to turn and run the other way. Having NEVER had any type of surgery the site of the operating table and the lights and all the stuff really scared the crap out of me, but I guess my nurse saw the scared deer look in my eyes and took my hand and said it's gonna be alright dear and helped me up on to the table. The anesthesia guy came back in and eased me up by craking some jokes. They hooked me up to the most awesomest massage booties that keep you from getting blood clots but give an awesome calf message while there at it. Then the IV went in and the mask over my face. I was told to breath in deeply ten times...I dont know how many I got to, but the next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery ward with the nurse gently storking my hand.

I had the worse sore throat ever, which is expected from the respirator tube and was really waked out, but I came too little by little and saw my hubby standing next to my bed. Dont remember much about our conversation but I do remeber having alot of people checking on me and my temp, bp, oxygen levels...needless to say I was being taken care of VERY well. Had a morphine drip going so there was no pain. After about 2 hours I was moved to my room.

I had been warned by another bandster that the 13th floor at NYU had some not so attentive nurses, but I am happy to say that all of my nurses were very nice and very attentive and most importantly very liberal with the morphine (YAY!!!). Once i got to my room I was helped out of bed and instructed to just walk around. The nurse did the first lap with me to make sure that I could handle it and then I was on my way. There were alot of other band patients on that floor so we kept meeting eachother on our walks.

The first nite..sleep was rough due to the gas and trying to find a comfy position which was near impossible. Going to pee was also a production, since I had to be helped out of bed and the massage booties taken off and then draging the IV with me. And since they have to monitor your urine output I had to pee into a special container in the toilet, never mind trying to move around with the pain in the incisions. Most of the sleep I got was with the morphne drip ( did I mention how much I LOVED the morphine!!!!). The nurses would come in every hour to check on me. They also give you some heparin injections to avoid blood clots, but they inject them into the stomach and I didnt like that at all !!!

The next morning the surgeon's residents came to see me and check on my incisions. Reiterated the importance of walking to help the healing process and started the discharge procedure. My hubby helped me change into a loose dress, pants with elastics and zippers not a good idea when you have an insision on your belly button. I was given my final instructions to wait to bathe for 24 hrs and my med instructions and i was on my way home.

The ride home was rough. The bumps of the road were VERY rough on my belly, I was very happy to get out of the car and take some vicodin !!!! I had absolutely no desire to eat anything and it was a battle to even get 6 oz of the chicken broth down, I know this will change eventually but for now it is liquids for 9 more days !!! YUM !!!

Tommorow is the day !!

WOW ! I cant beleive that this time tommorow I get banded !! and right now I am a big mix of emotions ! I am super excited to be getting this done because I know that I'm taking back control of an aspect of my life that has eluded me for so looonnggg !! But like any normal person I'm also nervous and anxious of what's involved and the whole procedure. Especially considering I've never been in an hospital...especially for surgery or anything like that. The closest is Lasik Surgery.
All my girls on my support forum have had positive expereinces and am looking foward to joining that group. It's going to change alot of things in my life, but I know that it's all for the better. I'm telling you it'll be a relief to not feel hungry ALL the feaking time and to know that I can stop and think about what I'm going to put into my mouth without needlessly just shoving food in there cause I'm starving !! WOW, that's gonna be so awesome !!!

okay people..here's to getting my sexy back !!! See ya later !!

So what is the Lap Band anyway ??

Some of you may be wondering what is this Lap band all about anyway and why am I getting this thing put in me ?? Well like I had mentioned in my opening post, I'm tired of being tired ! I'm tired of feeling all types of aches and pains in my knees and my ankles everytime I walk. But most importantly I dont want to end up as another diabetic in my family. My mom has it, it took the life of my grandmother this year and I dont want it to rob me of the chance of having a family and a life with my wonderful hubby !!! So i am doing this for me and for my future !!

So what is it that I am getting done ?? Well the lap band is a restrictive device that helps morbidly obese people lose weight by doing 2 things that we are unable to do by ourselves with plain diet and excercise. That is # 1 control the amount we eat, # 2 keep us from being hungry all the freaking time so that I can make the right choices to lose the weight. There is a ton of info available for a million different sources and if you want to check it out and learn some more about it take a look at these sites:

• www.lapband.com
• http://www.blogdayplanner.com/2009/05/lap-band-surgery-offers-hope-for.html
• http://thinforlife.med.nyu.edu/ ( this is my surgeon's site)

If you want to take a look at what the surgery actually is here's a link to a you tube video..but caution if you're easily grossed out skip it !!!

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5ICI9q7nxU

Gotta go, alot of preping to do tommorow !!

Darleen...my angel in disguise !!

This process has taught me ALOT about people ! First off I told VERY few people about this to being with ( including my best friend of a lifetime) simply because of the fact that I know alot of people view this surgery very differently, especially if they have never had a weight problem in their life !! ( this isn't the case with my bestfriend, I just havent told her cause I want to surprise her with the new slimmer me in a couple of months !! I hope she doesn't get mad !!)
The chosen few that I have told are those that would understand my decision because they understand me and love me !! Some of them share the same issues I do with my weight, while others have never had an issue over post-pregnancy weight but still have been there for me every step of the way with a hug, or an internet search looking for new info, the little things that matter !! Others that I had mentioned that I was thinking about the surgery months ago and thought and expected would be there for me...sadly just dont get it and havent been there at all, which is why I chose to not share my final decision about the surgery and the date.

One person in particular has been my rock of support and my angel in disguise..my friend Darleen !! I always knew that Darleen was a true friend and a one of a kind incredible person, but what she has done for me during this process just goes beyond words !! Dar took it upon herself to volunteer to do the liquid diet with me so I wouldnt feel alone and alienated...who makes that kind of sacrafice needlessly ?? I mean c'mon !! then on top of that she's been making sure that I incorporate excercise into my day and goes with me to the gym 3 times a week. Then if all that wasn't the work of a saint, on my last day at work friday, she gave me a incredibly thoughtful giftbag that she put together with yoga bands and walking DVD's ( since I cant do rough workouts for 6 weeks post op), an album so that I can record my journey !! tThe level of support and comprehension and the just being there to listen and pick me up when I was having a "rough" day, without judgements or anything but an open heart, I know has made the difference in me getting to the point that I have and made it possible for me to go in on monday without being completely terrified !!

Dar- if you ever read this..I dont even know how to say thank you !! Thank you just sounds so cheap and inadequate for what you have given me !! You are my rock and I love you for your genuine little things that make a differrence. I know that I couldn't have gotten this far without you !! Your mom must have the greatest smile up in heaven now knowing that all her struggles paid off and that she raised an incredible human being !!! THANK YOU !!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU !!!!

YAY !! I've lost 10 lbs !!!

So I've had to combat my fear of the scale during this pre-op diet to track my progress and am soooooooo estatic and excited to say that this damn thing actually works, I've lost 10 lbs !! OMG !! I can't remember the last time I actually said those words..I LOST WEIGHT !!

Trust me this hasnt been an easy 10 lbs, but it's been a very informative, educational and tough 2 weeks !!! It's intresting to see that after the first 4 days which were murder, I stopped craving alot of the things that I swore I couldn't live without !! That of course doesnt mean that I wouldn't kill for a plate of Arroz con habichuelas and some yummy pernil and tostones with a side of aguacate !! OMG !! What I would do for that !!! But alas this is the new me, and the new me needs to pay attnetion to her body, so off for another yummy protein shake it is !!!

Protein shakes SUCK !!!

Since this is gonna be the bulk of my diet for the next 2 weeks I decided to try a bunch of different protein shakes to find one that I could like. So here goes the list trial:

1. Jay Robb Choclate protein shake- One word YUCK !!! OMG this was horrible. It tasted like they took a can of splenda and added some choclate sprinkled on top and put it in the tub.
2. Green Foods protein shake from Whole Foods- OMG I couldnt get this out of my mouth fast enough !!! Imagine blending together broccoli, spinach, kelp and every other sour tasting green you could imagine and then blending it with choclate minus the sugar...yea..yum right??!!!
3. Nature's Best Spiru-tein in choclate- Finally SUCCESS !! Something that was actually tasty and drinkable. The only thing is that you REALLY need to mix it because it clumps alot !! But becareful this is made from Soy protein, which I evenually found out doesnt work for me and was given me very frequent and noisy farts !!!
4. Kelloggs Protein K shakes ( in choclate of course!!) These were great !! Easy to drink since they came ready made, great to take on the train. No gas issues and taste really good, as long as you SHAKE, SHAKE and SHAKE some more
5. Atkins Low Carb RTG protein shakes- Great portability and great taste, but again soy protein so...fartty !!!
6. Slim Fast Optima- Finally SUCCESS yet again and no farts !! HOORAY
7. Unjury Whey protein shakes- I just order this one since everyone seems to REALLY reccommed this brand. On top of that it comes with a money back guarantee so can't hurt right.

The Pre-Op Diet...YAY..NOT !!!

So know that I have my approval( which I am totally stoked about) comes that begining of the hard stuff, the PRE-OP DIET..can we say YAY !!! So what do I get to enjoy on this wonderful diet you say?? Well I'm so glad you asked... I get a whopping 1000 calories a day of liquids ! and not just any liquids, I get High protein, low cal. low carb protein shakes...yummy !!! With this also comes xnay to the sodas and fruit juice, ice cream, pasta, rice, yummy pernil and steaks and mashed potatoes and.....well you can just imagine, just about everything that is yummy and delicious. I do get to have 2 cups a day of veggies in case I am not satisfied by just the protein shakes ( I can't imagine how I wouldn't..right ??!!!)

The Insurance approval..AHHHH !!!

Okay so I had heard from others that this was gonna be a PROCESS...but I neer imagined how much of a process it ended up being. The fact that it is sooo complicated to begin with is just ridiculous to me !! Common it's just common sense that an approval of a procedure that is virtually guaranteed to work in conquering the weight that is causing sooo many other health issues would be a no-brainer. Think about what a life of diabetic medications and complications alone would cost an insurance company...but oh well !!

So this is what is takes:

• Attending an information seminar at your surgeon's practice to get all the nitty gritty details on what exactly you are getting yourself into
• 6 months worth of doctor's visits detailing a medically supervised diet and charting your progress. These visits MUST be no less than 31 days apart BUT no more than 32 days apart. You miss one month and you need to start all over again
• letters of reccomensation from your doctor stating why this is necessary and probably the only viable option for you to lose weight
• proof of co-morbidities ( meaning proof of asthma, sleep apnea, hypertension or diabetes 2)
• A history of at least 2 years of morbid obesity, meaning that you are about 60-100 lbs over your ideal reccomended weight and a BMI over 39.9
• A visit to a psychiatrist to make sure that you know what you re getting yourself into and that you can handle the change in lifestyle that you are about to enter
• A visit to the nutrionist to learn how your eating habits will change through the different phases of the process

After all THAT is done then you turn in your paper work to your surgical coordinator and hope that she does her job!! Mine almost didnt and mixed up my surgery dates !!! YES I DID WANT TO STRANGLE HER !!!!

BUT...luckily after a week of bitting my nails and living with a swarm of bees in my stomach I got the call that I was APPROVED...so August 10th..HERE I COME !!!

It's been awhile....

Yes, I know it's been awhile that I havent posted and really kinda of abandoned my blog, but I am going to try my hardest to really keep up with this. For some reason I've never really been a bloger and have tried myspace only to abandon that after a month !!!

Okay so where are we ??? Well this journey sure is moving quickly...and become a very exciting project. Since I last posted :

1. I've gotten approved for surgery which will be taking place this monday Aug 10th !! OMG !!!
2. Lost 10 lbs on a pre-op diet
3. Met some incredibly wonderful felow bandsters on lapbandtalk.com
4. Discovered alot about myself, that trylu I can do this and that I do have what it takes to make this huge change in mylife
5. Realized that I have a group of girls around me that ARE the best !!!!

I am going to try to catch up on the blogging and add some more post with details on the steps involved in the banding process in hopes that it may help someone else out. I will try to cover the whole insurance application process and the hellish pre-op diet...so catch you later !!