What the scale says...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A quickie & a laugh !!

Yep here at work but I just had to post this quickie cause it is just too good !! Jen and I met up for brunch on sunday, as she posted on her blog and I almost fell out out my chair in total laughter when I saw her reference to me as "tiny". It's just so funny to me to be thought of as anything but a "big" girl !!! I guess it's just one of those things that I will have to get use to (LOL!!!!!). Talking about shrinking you should check out Jen...now there's a girl who has a totally thin profile. I couldnt beleive it when I saw her but when she turned sideways it was like OMG!!! And YES Jen those prickly pear magaritas were AWESOME!! Will most certainly be going there again !!

I will post the challange results later tonight if I can get to them before the LOST final season premier starts (turning off all the ringers and lights from 8-10)..OMG I cant wait !! Although I must say that I dont know what I will do come the final episode..I cant imagine life post-LOST !! But I guess that's what they have the season DVD's for right ??

Got this email from a friend and it is just piss in ur pants funny so read below for a great laugh ....

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back....
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl*w j0b?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word....
he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget..


FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow..
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did he have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

4 comments:

carla said...

Thanks for the laugh....I needed it after the day I have had :-)

Linda said...

Too funny- I'm psyched for Lost too! The only problem is I forget what happened last year(well some of it).

Roo said...

I am nearly peeing my pants and getting funny looks at work from trying not to laugh to loudly....this has definitely put a smile on my face! Thanks!

Girl Bandit said...

Oh gosh...thanks for the laugh!!!

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